Manners #1: Be a good houseguest and host

I complain about a core group of things that irk me and I figured that I would write about them in attempt to let the bad vibes out and to hopefully give and learn some tips on manners.  To be clear, I’m not saying that I have good manners, and I’m not saying I don’t do things that annoy people, I’m just pointing out the things that piss me off.

The first on my list is overnight guests.  There are some key elements to being a good guest and there are definitely some key elements to being a guest that never gets invited back. On the flip side, I am also attempting to be a better host, so I am exploring what I can do better to have a pleasant experience with house guests as opposed to counting down the minutes until they depart.  Let me know if you agree, don’t agree, have additional suggestions.

Some things that make a good houseguest:
- Be very clear about arrival and departure times
- Ensure that the length of stay is appropriate for the familiarity you have with the hosts
- Do not expect the hosts to be travel guides or entertainment for your entire stay, take the initiative to plan activities.
- Offer to pay for at least one breakfast/lunch/dinner or make one of those meals.  It can be expensive to host someone, extra food, water electricity, etc.  Think about how much you would be paying for a hotel.
- Clean up after yourself and participate in keeping the house tidy, and don’t expect your hosts to be your cleaning service.  If you want that, get a hotel. Don’t leave garbage behind. Leave the area that you slept in tidy. Clean sheets or at the very least fold them.

Some things that make a good host:
- Have a house policy with a clear definition of a guest. This way there is no passive aggressive behavior when they don’t clean their own sheets or help load the dishwasher.
- Know your limits.  As Miss Manners states “never issue an invitation that you do not want to issue.” If you need a lot of space, then limit the amount of time a guest can stay.  For me, I have an extra room that is used as an office, and if a guest stays more than a weekend, I lose access to it and it starts to really bother me.
- Do not propose an open-ended visit.  Be clear about the length of stay and don’t let it go over.
- If a guest asks to stay longer and you don’t feel comfortable, you should talk to them about it and work with them on alternative accommodations.
- Be clear on how much time you can spend with your guests. Something I disagree on with Miss Manners is that a host needs to include a guest in all of their social activities.  I agree if their stay is for a weekend, but if it is an extended stay, I don’t think this should be necessary.  What is necessary is being very clear upfront if you are working and can’t vacation at the same time as your houseguests so they know if they are on their own.

Filed under: life, manners , host, houseguest, manners

My Mum’s response to Cat Workout on CNN…

My Mum sent me an email in response to the article I sent her:

Furry Pals Can Be Partners in Fitness
http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/06/05/fat.cats.owners.exercise/index.html

Well, I’ve told everyone I know about my infamous daughter Cat Flexing.
It is amazing what kind of responses I get.
Some stare at me as if catatonic.
Some give me a pitying/ catastrophic kind of look.
Others act like I … or YOU are clearly from CatMandoo – or otherwise
“out there”/
Some are even a bit catty about the whole thing.
The more optimistic and health focussed individuals think this type of
exercise program might cat…ch on .
Some have asked for a catalogue of cat flexing exercises.
Despondent types think this type of thing might be cathartic. (None of my
Catholic friends, though).
The global concerned types are worried the trend might result in a
cataclysm of cats.
I wouldn’t cater to that kind of thinking if I were you, though. But if
it happened, I am sure you would open a cattery.

I have to say, however, that the funniest cat flexer is Sean. He was a
little catawampus, if you ask me, and almost reminded me of a cateran.
Nearly put me into cataplexy.

Filed under: life , catworkout, cnn

Some of my Microsoft Friend’s take on Bing vs. Google

Does Microsoft’s Bing have Google running scared?
http://news.cnet.com/8301-10805_3-10264417-75.html?tag=newsEditorsPicksArea.0

There was some interesting commentary from some of my Microsoft buddies (names removed for anonymity) about this article and Bing vs. Google.

D:

This article would be true in only one case – if Live Search team somehow managed to beat Google on NDCG (normalized discounted cumulative gain – a measure of relevance). Historically they could not, particularly on longer queries. If they pulled this off, that would be quite an achievement, since LS algorithms are purely machine learned, and Google reportedly relies on hand tweaked algorithms. This could mean that GOOG is running out of relevance headroom with their approach, whereas Live could take full advantage of the Moore’s law and deploy more sophisticated ML algorithms over time.

That said, I doubt this is the case. Historically, Google has been cranking relevance up a notch every time YHOO or MSFT would deploy improved algorithms, just enough to beat them both by a narrow margin.

Looks like a slow news day at CNet.

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R:

Relevance is important and i’m sure the bing guys will keep making it better. but the “blue ocean strategy” microsoft adopted was to come at it from other interesting angles as well that google was oblivious about.. the user experience is SO much better with bing..

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D:

IMO the only big win that I can see is snippet expansion (this is why Bing is currently my default search engine). This, however, is something that would take Google maybe a couple of weeks to replicate if they wanted to.

Here’s why this is a great feature. The fundamental problem in search is that data labelers (i.e. the guys who label training / evaluation data) make a determination about relevance based on the content of the document, but customer satisfaction will mostly depend on the quality of the snippets, since that’s what the user perceives as the main relevance characteristic. Good snippets are hard to generate, since you don’t really want to go into the hairy (and AI complete, if you want to do it well) topic of document summarization. So what you end up having is good relevance and shitty customer sat, since the users can not determine if the page is relevant or not by looking at search results.

Bing’s new UI sidesteps the problem by providing more snippet text on hover, which is very smart. Of course, I’d prefer to have an intelligently generated snippet, but at this point I’ll take whatever I can get.

==========================================================================================================
R:
D: if you can be converted, then half the battle has been won already the others will be much easier to convert..

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D:
I’m actually fairly easy to “convert”, since I’ve seen it all, from Windows all the way to Linux and everywhere in between and oftentimes know it for a fact that the grass is _not_ greener on the other side of the fence.

Just don’t be worse than the competition, and I’ll use the product every time I can. Win 7, Office 2007, SQL 2008 (including Analysis Services), Exchange, Bing, Visual Studio, .NET Runtime and Framework – those are just a few Microsoft products that have my complete approval.

That said, I always was very much anti-Koolaid, and while I will be the first to praise folks for a superior product, Koolaid by itself has no effect on me whatsoever.

So don’t expect me to become a fan of Zune, WinMo or MSN (outside of Bing) anytime soon. A lot of work needs to be done there.

Outside of Microsoft this applies to Apple TV, Amazon Kindle and all other eBook readers, single-button mouse (though not to single or zero-button trackpad – those are convenient), iPod Shuffle, Java (and 90%+ of open-source Java frameworks), plastic MacBook, all smartphones other than iPhone and Pre, etc., etc.

Filed under: opinion , Bing, Google, Microsoft

#followfriday is like trekking to the stars, but…

Wow, look at me , writing up a blog post two weeks in a row about #followfriday. For this installment, I bring you a lovely lady that I have never met in person, but feel like I have gotten to know virtually via Twitter, Facebook and Flickr. I have attempted to get together with her when I lived in San Francisco but we lived on opposite ends of town and you know how that goes.

I also want to point out that I picked her as this week’s choice BEFORE the Wired article “100 Geeks You Should Follow on Twitter. Yes, I am that good. Plus, as you can see from my comment on that site, she is one of four people out of 100 that I actually agreed with.

I don’t want to distract from the awesomeness, so without further adieu, I bring you, Bonnie Burton (@bonniegrrl). There are so many reasons I like Bonnie, but most of all because she constantly flatters me. Ha! No, seriously, flattery gets you every where. Alright alright, putting my ego aside, she finds the most random articles and scifi stuff and it’s like a gift, 24 hours a day. I don’t think that grrl sleeps. Plus, she is always positive and upbeat, just look at her avatar, how adorable is that?

She was so humble when she got the nod from Wired, stating that she isn’t a web celebrity. Whatever!! She is totally a celeb in my book. She is an Editor and Content Developer at Lucas Film, has a Vlog “Ask Bonnie”, writes for Geek magazine, etc. etc. etc. Just look at this grrl’s resume!

OK, I don’t want to get too carried away here, it’s not like she is a goddess. OK, well maybe she is. Anyway, if you want to follow someone awesome on Twitter or wherever else online that she is (because I don’t think there is anywhere that she isn’t) that you need to go to http://twitter.com/bonniegrrl and click on Follow.

Carry on. Namaste.

Filed under: twitter , #followfriday, @bonniegrrl, bonnie burton, twitter

Can serious classes be fun?

At this very second I’m attending my second CERT class in Silverlake. I decided to attend because I want to be able to take care of myself and the people and critters I love when disaster happens.

The class instructor is a fireman who has been on the force for 15+ years. He is a very nice guy and has a ton of patience and experience. The problem is that I am bored to tears.

I realize this class is free and important but dry material is covered, but there has to be a way to make it more interesting. It is even more difficult to concentrate because the class is after work and held in a stuffy church room.

I don’t have any good ideas on how to make it more interesting other than perhaps making it more hands on as opposed to reading from slides. The class Sean took – Urban Escape and Evasion was all hands on and you were forced to learn skills and then utilize them. For me personally, I prefer a demonstration and then try to practice the same skill. There must be classes where they can mimic fires, tsunamis, earthquakes, etc. and you have to try and stay alive. That would definitely keep me engaged.

Alas, that is not this class so I’m going to post this and then put my head back down on the table until Sean wakes me up so we can go home.

Namaste

Filed under: life , CERT, class

I don’t believe in #followfriday, but…

I don’t believe in #FollowFriday on Twitter because no one ever gives me a quality enough reason in their tweets to take their advice. I spend quite a bit of time reviewing who I follow because I need to manage my valuable time on this planet and I’m not going to click on someone’s name just because you say so. If I notice some intelligent interactions going on between someone I follow and someone I don’t, then I will check them out and see what they are all about.

That all being said, I deeply value the people that I do follow, and want to do more than a trite shout out, so I am going to write up thoughtful posts that explain why I follow a particular person or company. I’m going to try dang hard to do this regularly but don’t hold me to it because I suck at blogging. Most of the people I will post about I follow on more that one network or service, or yes, IRL, and my main hangouts include Twitter, Flickr, Tumblr, various music blogs/aggregators, and Facebook. I have been known to hang on 4Chan, but that’s like Anonymous. Hmm, maybe I can post about him.

On this maiden voyage, the person that I am going to let you know about is Anthony Volodkin or @fascinated on Twitter. Anthony is behind Hype Machine, which is my favorite music aggregator. Most of the music I tweet about includes a link to it on Hype Machine. I recently met Anthony in Austin at SXSW after a virtual connection over Twitter. He put on an excellent panel “Help! My iPod Thinks I’m Emo” which was one of my favorites, and later I had the chance to chat him up some more over lunch. In addition to working on cool shit, Anthony is a very modest, cool and chill guy. When I send Anthony bug reports (via Twitter) he is always quick to respond and very appreciative of input even though I probably annoy this shite out of him (I still want my Songbird integration back!!). I work at Topspin and many of my coworkers are also acquainted with Anthony as the music + software services circle is pretty small, and all of them think he is pretty cool and admire his work. So ya, I’m a fanboy and became even more so when I read a tweet of his that he was hanging out with @moot. OMG! Lastly, he has decent music taste which I am pretty particular about and if you know me, you know I wouldn’t follow a poser.

To sum it up, if you are into music, like someone that is modest and down to earth, smart, travels, and travels in interesting circles, Anthony is your dude. I hope that I gave some good reasons as to why I follow Anthony around virtually and consider that connection valuable.

Namaste

Filed under: twitter , #followfriday, @fascinated, Anthony Volodkin

Help me Coachoose

I have been trying to coachoose wisely for Coachella 2009, but there are some open slots where I don’t know the band or just can’t make up my mind between all the great tuneage!! Check out what I have and share your advice! Also, if you think I have coachoosen poorly, bring it!

Pink square = definitely! want!
Green circle = maybe, waffling, I dunno
Pink square and Green circle = really want to see the one in the pink but conflicted because of the green
Blank = halp! no freaking idea

Filed under: music , advice, coachella, coachella2009, help, music

Stroking my ego for not having an ego

My pal Will Sargent and I had a little IM conversation this evening:

Will: http://ego-app.com/

Me: interesting…and you are sending this to me b/c I have an ego??

Will: because you don’t have one

Me: haha

Will: and you need to be reminded of how wonderful you are

Me: awwwwwwwwwww i dont believe you for a second but thanks anyway

Will: (technically that’s Sean’s job, but extra machinery always helps)

Me: heeee

Filed under: Uncategorized , ego, IM, sweet

Knighting myself “West Coast Girl”

One week tomorrow I’ll be driving from San Francisco to Venice Beach in a truck with my stuff. This will mark the fourth city that I have lived in on the left coast – Vancouver, Seattle, San Francisco, and now Venice (LA). I don’t know how many others can claim that, certainly no one that I know. So, I have decided to give myself the title “West Coast Girl” and see if anyone else tries to claim it.

It’s really kind of crazy, I mean I just moved back to San Francisco in August after four years away in Seattle. I was so so happy to be back and absolutely adore the Mission where I live. That being said, there is a cheesy saying “home is where the heart is” and someone named Sean Bonner has claimed it over San Francisco.

After mulling it over and me spending more time in LA, we decided to make Venice our home – and by home I mean this is the first time that we will be living together officially. We got married Oct. 31st, 2008 and still haven’t moved in together. Sean is leaving his beloved eastside but as he has mentioned the air there is killing him and being closer to the airport will make things more convenient for him. Plus there is a badass new Intelligentsia opening up in Venice and he is super psyched about that.

I’m super excited to make my dream of living at the beach come true, still be able to ride my bike to work, and be closer to the airport. I have also made some new friends in LA who I am really excited to hang out with and make brunch for and I’ll never complain about more sunshine.

The good news is that I will be back up in SF once or twice a month to work out of the Topspin San Francisco office and my lovely Angela is letting me crash with her in the Mission. I feel so so fortunate to have my cake and eat it too.

I hope that my friends on the west coast and around the world come and visit me and Sean and Funston and LuckyCat. We have a lovely guestroom and spare bikes.

The adventure continues…

Namaste

Filed under: life , "helllooooo beach", "see ya", "west coast girl", Moving, venice

I’m gonna get you endo!

Recently I wrote a post on “7 things you probably didn’t know about me.“  I didn’t add everything (gosh, I hope not, how boring) but one thing that I wanted to add but didn’t was that I have endometriosis.  It’s not like I am the only one with it, around 90 million women globally will be affected in their lifetime, and certainly don’t feel sorry for myself, but it has had a major impact on my life.

I have had pretty painful menstrual cramps since puberty, and was tested for endometriosis years ago, but it wasn’t until last year that I was actually diagnosed with it.  When the specialist showed me on the ultrasound that I had it, and that it was very advanced, I didn’t really understand the gravity of it until he added that it makes me infertile and I couldn’t have children without IVF treatments.

I am in my early thirties, and like most women my age I am thinking about children. I started researching IVF and talking to people that have gone through with it and I just can’t imagine doing it.  Not only is it extremely expensive, its painful, lengthy and its not 100% guaranteed.

With this realization, I started talking to my friend Angela and she mentioned that there could be a natural way to combat my condition.  I do have some friends that have battled unexplained infertility naturally with acupuncture, uterine massage, etc. and so I figured knowing what my problem is could be half the battle.  Angela and I researched some mega vitamin and herb dosing which seemed pretty intense…100,000 UI of Vitamin D? I can’t even find a bottle that includes 10,000.

I did some more research and the easiest, healthiest and most consistent path that I have found is diet.  Interestingly enough, the diet is basically vegan with a twist, no wheat and a reduction in soy.  Luckily for me, my husband Sean is vegan and so I will have a coach. I am definitely freaked out that I am going to go crazy with a lack of food choices and that my friends will never want to eat with me again. It is going to be really really hard for me to give up dairy and milk chocolate anything…so I am easing in…but hopefully it will be worth it.

My goal is to combat my endometriosis in one year.  I am going to go to the doctor and get a baseline on my condition and go from there.  Even if I am never able to have children (yes, we can adopt, or have a million pets, etc.) I really want to see how a change in lifestyle can combat a condition. Au naturale over western medicine.

Would really really like to know that I’m not alone amongst my friends and I can use any support and advice that I can get.

Namaste

Filed under: life , diet, endometriosis, infertility, vegan