Tara Tiger Brown


just prowling around

Pregnancy: 22-25 weeks 11/15/09

SIX MONTHS PLUS!!!!! It feels like just yesterday that I wasn’t pregnant at all! I haven’t blogged for about a month because I didn’t really have anything exciting to talk about. I still don’t really, but this is supposed to be like a journal because apparently pregnancy brain will cause me to lose all memories of this time. Souris said to me yesterday that I should start losing my mind any day now…I already have. I paid my doula with a check from an account I haven’t had for more than 6 months. Owch.

22 Weeks Pregnant

24 Weeks Pregnant

25 Weeks Pregnant


  • Sean and I came up with a name that we are pretty excited about and we call BB it all the time in private but won’t share with the world until he arrives. Why? Because you all are critical dicks. Kidding. Sorta.
  • I started playing tag with BB. He punches or kicks then I press my fingers into that spot and he punches me again. OK, maybe not tag per say but I have managed to get him to do it 5 times in a row. I can actually feel him moving with my fingers now, not just little pops. It kinda creeped me and Sean out at first, but now it’s just so fun!
  • I was horrified to learn that my innie belly button might become an outtie! Already I can see right into it like a worm hole. I have never had such a view of it. Much easier to clean now!
  • I have been getting some pretty bad cramps in my calves and puffiness in my legs and hands. I am combatting it by drinking OJ, eating bananas, taking a drink with magnesium and calcium, drinking Smart Water with electrolytes and trying to stretch. 
  • Let’s just say that I will never again take for granted bending over to put on socks and shoes. OMG. I have to pretend to be a Flamingo with my leg bent sideways to put them on unless I can get in a chair and even then I have to hike my leg up.
  • Doc told me this week that I need to slow down my weight gain…that it was easy to just give up and let myself go.  I was not pleased with this comment…I mean I do walk my dog almost every day, I swim and do  yoga.  I probably could cut down on my Chai Latte consumption, but come on, my activity has definitely decreased with not being able to ride a bike to work anymore (I rode Sean’s globe the other day to work and it took an hour).  It kind of depressed me, so I guess I just need to try and eat better and less. Or maybe go on a diet like I heard some pregnant ladies do in LA. Kidding!


I found this funny pic that I made on the RoutanBabyMaker3000 site. I’ll have to remember to compare when the real deal arrives and see how accurate the rendering is.


I wanted to share some learnings with anyone that cares. Just a few little tidbits:

  • Buy maternity pants and jeans that have an elastic band that goes all the way over your belly or ensure the band is soft. I bought some Motherhood Jeans and they cut into me and I hate them!!! Hate hate hate!
  • My friend Leena who is having her baby girl right around when BB is due recommends Gap and Navy Online clothes for the budget conscience.  I also mentioned this site before http://pacingthepanicroom.blogspot.com because they show what American Apparel clothing can double as maternity wear.
  • Bras – this has been a major pain for me because I have humungous boobs and I hate spending $70 on a bra every month when they seem to grow another size larger. I have found that bras with underwires are causing me issues so I purchased some without. They are OK, but don’t give me the support I need. I think those bra extenders are your friends to help relieve the issues with the underwire. My fave bras so far are Elle Macpherson and Warners
  • Go and tour at least two hospitals that you can deliver in and do it at least 3 months before you are due.  Some require pre-registration.  It’s a lot less stressful to know where to park and which elevator to take, etc.  Also check with you insurance company to make sure they cover the hospital you want to deliver in and understand what is covered.  Some insurance doesn’t cover circumcision and if it’s not covered some hospitals won’t do it.

maternity rates


Filed under: life, pregnancy, , , , , , , ,

Has anyone seen my iPhone?

Lots and lots of twittering about my iPhone debacle, so I wanted to give you all my side of the story.

I had a party for friends on Thursday nite because my friend Jason Defillippo was in town and is an excellent Rock Band guitar player.  I thought it would be fun to get a few people together to try out Rock Band II and smoke a little hookah.

I created the event on Facebook and invited friends and set the permissions to allowing guests to bring friends.  I tweeted about the party and asked people to direct message me or @ reply me for the address in case I wasn’t following them for some reason.

The party was going well; I knew everyone there or knew of them. There were one or two people that I didn’t know but many people vouched for them.  Then Nick Starr showed up at my house with a guy I didn’t recognize.  Right away my stomach became queasy and I expressed this to my friend Angela. I had recently met Nick at the Mimosa Factory event that he organized.  When he introduced himself, the first words out of his mouth were that he wanted to commit suicide off the Golden Gate bridge.  Me and my companions all looked at each other in complete shock and didn’t have any idea how to respond.  Interestingly enough, a few days later, there were a bunch of tweets that Nick Starr has publicly tweeted that he wanted to kill himself.  I was later to find out that he has done this a bunch of times and its either a cry for some serious help or a publicity stunt.

Back to the story. Nick showed up at my house and I just had a bad feeling.  I didn’t want to turn him away because someone said he was invited by Melodi (who I don’t know) and Melodi was invited by Kara.  I figured, OK, there is some vouching here and everyone at the party at least knew of Nick Starr if they didn’t call him a friend.

Party continues, I try to be a good hostess and introduce myself to Nick and his companion Ben.  We even played Rock Band together.

It gets to be around 11:30pm or midnite and most of the guests have left.  I was on the couch with Sean posting pictures to Flickr and then decided to get up and clean the kitchen.  I put my iPhone down on the table next to the couch and that is the last time I saw it.  BTW, its a Black 3G iPhone with a brown rubber cover with blue flowers. Here’s a pic.

Sean was on the couch and I saw Nick sitting with him. I thought it was odd because almost everyone except maybe one or two people had left.  I looked again and Nick was gone.

That night I looked for my phone because I knew it was low on battery and wanted to plug it in, but I couldn’t find it.  The next morning I looked again and Jason and Sean also looked for it. Couldn’t find it. I looked again and again.  I went to check my email, and received the following from Nick Starr:

Hey thanks for having us over last night. I think I left my iPhone on the coffee table. It is a white one with no case. Is there any way I can meet you somewhere and get it at some point?

Thanks again for the rocking party,

Nick Starr

I thought, hmm, that’s weird.  I replied:

Thanks for coming!

No, I don’t have your cellphone. But I lost mine. Its black with a brown cover. I really wish I could find it because my dog is really sick and I need to call a vet. 😦


His reply:

Wait my phone isn’t there? someone took it? wtf….oh man. ugh

Then I started getting really suspicious. What made him think that it was stolen all of a sudden? And some people told me that he is always poor and complains about not having money.

At this point I was pissed off.  We exchanged a few more emails and then this is what sealed the deal for me was this email:

I was invited by Melodi who I’ve known for a while now…I’ve only known that guy for 3 days now…I will ask him.

And this tweet from Nick.  Seemed clear to me that he was trying to put the blame on this Ben guy because no one really knows him.  So in my mind I was thinking about 3 possible scenarious: 1)Ben took it and Nick knew about it. 2) Nick took it 3) Ben took it and Nick didn’t know.  Either way, Nick brought this guy into my house and I as far as I’m concerned, needs to get my phone back or pay to replace it.

A lot of other emails, IMs, tweets, etc. occurred throughout the day.  I spoke to my Dad who is a Private Investigator and he said that the first email that Nick sent me was very suspicious.  I went to the Mission Police Department to report this crime and they said the same thing.

At this point my phone has not been returned.  It cost me $500 and now I have to pay another $500 to replace it.  More than the money which completely sucks, I am so sad that a fun party with my friends has turned into something really sad. I hate that someone came into my house and stole from me after hanging out with me.  I hate that I am so angry right now while I am planning my wedding.  I am trying to get past this.  Really really trying.

Here are my lessons learned:

1) Events on Facebook need to be private if they include your house address.  Can’t trust anyone to keep that information private even if you invite them as a friend.

2) Trust your instincts. If you have a queasy feeling about someone, ask them to leave.

3) During a house party, only allow new people that you don’t know into your house if they have at least one other person there that you trust and will vouch for them

4) Keep all documentation of any crime and take it all to the police with you. There is an online crime reporting site, but going in person means you can provide print outs.

5) Get house or renters insurance that includes a rider for electronics

6) Know who your friends are.

Thanks everyone for your help and support in trying to get to the bottom of this.

Filed under: annoyed, life, twitter, , , , , ,

Numb Or At Peace?

I’ve had to deal with a lot of intense circumstances this year.  People keep reminding me, but I just sort of brush it off and keep plowing ahead.   Closure is happening on some things and it caused me to look back at the last 6 months and reflect on everything.

First, I filed for divorce after 7 years of marriage at the beginning of January.  After various levels of separation I said enough was enough.  Thankfully it was a very friendly end, but he was my best friend – the person who knew me the best and I really miss that level of comfort and security in my life.  I just received an email from my lawyer that this Tuesday at 10:30AM I am marching into court and standing before a judge to affirm that in fact it is all over.

Due to the divorce, we are selling our house in Seattle.  It has been on the market since March and has not received any offers.  I have been living in this staged, museum like house since January by myself.  Needless to say, it has been a very lonely experience being in a house that is not a home yet still has the ghosts of familiarity.

We had 3 dogs, 1 cat, and a horse.  My ex refused to take any of the animals and it was too much for me to look after them all by myself, and work, and keep the house clean.  My dad and his girlfriend took in my dog Sydney and my cat Fumanchu. I can’t thank them enough.  Trooper, my chocolate lab  went into daycare and I take Funston my chihuhua with me whenever possible.  Trooper became very depressed because he was no longer allowed in the main part of the house because I had to keep it clean and he also really missed Sydney. I felt so guilty that I decided to find him a new home with a family that would love him.  I placed him with a family on a trial basis just before my trip south down the 101 a couple of weeks ago.  On my return drive home to Seattle from LA on the I5, I got a call that Trooper had died.  He had gotten a hold of a bag of chips and got his head stuck in it and suffocated.  This was the most devastating news to me and I cried for 3 days straight after that.  How ironic that after struggling with the idea of finding Trooper a new home that he dies on the same day I was going to check in on him.  It didn’t help that I couldn’t get a hold of my ex, and when I finally did the next day, he seemed to not really care.  That was hurtful.

I went and saw Trooper’s body at the vet just to be sure that he was truly dead.  I stayed with him for about an hour and just petted him.  I took his dog tag and wear it around my neck now on a chain which really helps me to feel close to him.  I had Trooper cremated and just received his ashes today.  The family that took him in dropped the box off at my house.  The family is still devastated and I don’t have any ill feelings towards them.  I know that it was an accident.  Now I need to determine what to do with Troop’s ashes.  Maybe I will sprinkle them on the regular path we took for walks.  I asked my ex what he would like to do, but no response.

I did a lot of purging today and more packing.  I read the book The Secret and it makes mention of living like the thing you want is just going to happen, no questions.  So I decided to pack and clean like I was about to move out.  As I was cleaning, a real estate agent showed up at my door and asked to show the house.  She didn’t have an appointment, but there was no way I was going to say ‘no.’  The couple came in for a minute and then walked out with a big scowl on their face and said they were done. I asked what the problem was and they said “no yard” and walked away.  Not only did they come to my house unnannounced, but they left in such a negative way that it really put a downer on my day.  I have no control over the fact that my house has no yard, and the fact I can’t fix a “problem” like that, is very frustrating.

Since December I’ve been planning new features for the service that I work on.  Turns out that many of those features are getting cut or postponed or scoped down.  I realize this happens, but I put a lot of heart and soul into those ideas and now its just one more thing to add to the list.

Interestingly enough, and why I made the title of this post “Numb Or At Peace” is because I haven’t cried since Trooper died.  Sure I have shed a tear or two, but no crying.  Even when I found out today about my court date, or received Trooper’s ashes, or found out that the last 6 months of work was going down the drain, I didn’t cry.  Perhaps it is because I have some very amazing people in my life that I know I can count on for support.  As true as that is, I want to think it is because I am at peace with myself and that everything will turn out OK if I have some patience.

So I am going to answer my own question: At Peace.


Filed under: life, , , , , , , , , ,


Flickr Photos