Pregnancy: 21 weeks 10/18/09

Last week caused a big change for me in how I think about being pregnant and my connection with our baby. At our 20 week ultrasound we found out that Baby Bonner (BB) is in fact Baby BOY Bonner (B3). Neither Sean nor I had any preference about the gender, although my Mum had intuition it was a girl and proved it by sending down a plasma TV sized box of all my baby dresses.

On Wednesday we were sitting in one of the patient rooms at the doctor’s office with the ultrasound machine checking out all the buttons. I noticed the 3D and 4D buttons and we were prepared to give it a go because it’s just a computer and we know how to work those. Just as I was about to press a button, the machine operator, Dr. Blumenfeld entered the room. He asked us separately if we wanted to know the baby’s sex and we both eagerly nodded our heads and firmly said “yes!”

He put the goo on my stomach and my heart started pounding. Just like at my last ultrasound I started to get nervous that he would find something wrong with BB. He placed the wand on my belly and I held my breath. He moved it around a little bit and said, “it’s a boy!” I kinda choked and replied “it’s a boy?!” I was actually not surprised, it was more like a confirmation of something I felt like I already knew. We had been saying “he” when referring to BB and I think I just had some sort of feeling. I couldn’t see Sean’s face but I knew that he was excited to hear that he was going to have a mini Sean. The doctor continued the ultrasound for at least 30 more minutes. It was way more intense that what you see on TV, he wasn’t able to see part of BB’s heart and so he dug that wand into me with both hands trying to move him around to get a better view. It was so painful and many times I wanted to ask him to stop but I decided that knowing my little dude was healthy outweighed my temporary discomfort.

After the exam he said everything was perfect and he didn’t need to see us again for another ultrasound because he saw everything he needed to see. What a relief! He printed out the 3D pic of BB’s face and a few of his mini-man parts and one of his tiny feet. As you can see from the pic, if you know Sean, he really does look like him.

After we left the doctor’s office and we were sitting in the car I asked Sean what he thought about having a mini Sean, he had a little grin and he said slight relief because having a boy was a little less stressful than having a girl. Now whenever I say mini Sean he gets a little smile and I think he has visions of playing with toys, riding bikes, shooting guns and getting tattoos with his kid. Of course most of those things will happen after the age of 18. 🙂

Sean’s Mum is visiting us this weekend and brought us a couple of his baby blankets, a mobile and other precious items that she has been saving. I just can’t believe that both her and my Mum saved these items for 34 years. It’s pretty touching.

Now that we know it’s a boy I all of a sudden have this extra connection that I didn’t have before. “It” is now a “he.” The little guy is a little person in there getting bigger and stronger every day. We don’t have a name for him yet, I think that’s going to be a very very difficult decision. I also don’t think I want to tell anybody which names we like because everyone has an opinion and are less likely to share it after the baby is born.

B3 is now starting to wake me up in the morning with his exercise routine. I think he likes to first stretch out his legs, then his arms, give a few kicks and punches and then practice his somersaults. I have also really noticed how much the food I eat affects how quickly he starts to move around and the amount of energy he exudes. This morning we had waffles for breakfast and I had some Knott’s Berry Farm Boysenberry syrup. Right after I finished eating he was the most active he has ever been, must have been the high fructose corn syrup that got him all riled up.

I started reading a blog by Teresa Strasser from the Adam Corolla Show and it’s my absolute favorite. She has brought real humor to some very difficult times during her pregnancy. I found her blog because I was looking up weight gain and was worried that I was gaining too much as according to all the pregnancy books I read. I gained 2 pounds this past week and I have now gained a total of 14 pounds. This is still within what the books say is “normal” but if I continue to gain 2 pounds a week that means I will gain 38 more pounds and that seems out of control. Teresa and many others who commented on her posts basically made me realize that the people that write those books must be using the skinny catwalk models as their references because not everyone is the same.

I was actually more worried about B3 because the doc told us he weighs a pound now and the books say that the baby should weight around 10.5 oz. The doc didn’t have any concern when he told us the weight so I’m not sweating bullets but I also know that babies that get too big can have medical issues. I know I know I need to stop worrying. I just want everything to be A-OK.

As for little old me, I am feeling pretty good except for some breathing issues. Sometimes I can’t get into a good enough position to feel like I’m getting enough oxygen in. It’s pretty scary. I have also noticed that my lower legs are getting a bit swollen by the end of the day if I have done a lot of standing. Nothing alarming, just noticed.

That’s about it for this week, the countdown is on, 19 weeks to go!

Filed under: pregnancy, 21 weeks pregnant, 3D Ultrasound, Baby Bonner, pregnancy journal, pregnant

Pregnancy: 20 weeks 10/11/09

Half way there. w00t! Today I’m 5 months pregnant and have a short 5 more months to go. Actually, it seems like a hell of a long time to go but everyone tells me that it will go fast. Apparently I’m supposed to start gaining a pound a week. My math is not great, but I think that means that I’m supposed to gain 20 pounds? What? So far I’ve gained about 11 pounds, which is within reason, but I’ve also been a bit lazy about exercising and I need to get on that. I’m totally OK with gaining weight, but I need to try and stay toned and not all flabby!

This past week I learned two new things about Sean. The first thing I learned from his Mom was that he was born just a teensy weensy little guy at 5 lbs 9oz. How cute! He weighed less than Funston!! Can you imagine? This also thrilled me to death because I think I was about 7 lbs so I hope that the birth weight of the parents is an indication of how big their kid will be. I haven’t researched into this very much but that’s what I’m going to believe.

The second thing I learned is that Sean has never held a baby. I wasn’t very surprised and he seems to think that holding Lucky Cat is plenty practice. I learned from an internet friend that her husband “caught” the baby when it was born but I don’t think that would be the best time for Sean to hold our kid for the first time. Or maybe, it will be a good first bonding experience. 😀

Having a kid means you need a lot of support before and after. I do have a couple of very supportive friends in the area but I don’t want to be a big burden on them so I joined the Venice Moms Group and they are my favorite new Internet friends! I posted a question asking if anyone had given birth with the Midwives at UCLA Westwood and I received a multitude of responses. Everyone was so thoughtful and supportive. It would not have been this easy to get this kind of valuable feedback without the Internet. Thank you Interwebs!!

I’m really excited for this week because it’s BIG! We get our 3D ultrasound on Wednesday and fingers crossed we learn the gender of BB. I can’t wait! We also interview two more doulas and will make a choice on who is going to coach us on this crazy baby business. Maybe she will convince Sean to practice holding a doll or something, I mean, if a 13 year old can do it…

Filed under: pregnancy, Uncategorized, "20 weeks pregnant", "5 months pregnant", belly bump, pregnant

Pregnancy: 19 weeks 10/04/09

I’m almost at the half way point! Apparently pregnancy lasts 40 weeks which is 10 months not 9. Where did the 9 months ever come from?

The last week has been a major eye opener for me. Sean and I watched the documentary “The Business of Being Born” and and my idea of birthing has completely changed 180 degrees. I have never really thought too much about “options” when it comes to having a baby, I just figured you have contractions, go to the hospital, get put in a wheelchair, fill out some paperwork, get wheeled to your hospital room, hop onto the hospital bed, get an epidural, and push and scream until the kid pops out. I bet I’m in the majority thinking that’s the way it is done, I mean we all see it done like that on TV and in the movies. Well, after watching the documentary, reading some articles on the topic and speaking to some doulas over the phone, I have come to realize that is the way doctors and insurance companies want you to do it but not the best way of doing it for the mother or the baby.

Once you get to the hospital, you are put on a schedule and if you don’t follow that schedule they start pumping you full of drugs to move you along. Those drugs put stress on the baby who is no longer on his natural schedule and all of a sudden a cesarean is needed because everything is out of whack. In addition because of insurance, in most hospitals mothers have to give birth in the hospital bed which is not the most natural way to give birth because it puts pressure on the pelvic region. Also if you think about it, it makes much more sense to deliver in a vertical position to let gravity do some of the work. Even in the case of an epidural, you are all of a sudden paralyzed from the waist down and can’t move around, and on top of that you can’t feel anything so you are more prone to tearing and other post birthing pain because you couldn’t feel anything to try and prevent it.

I have gone from a birth plan of showing up at the hospital, getting an epidural and letting the nurses and doctor deliver my baby to wanting to deliver my baby with a midwife at home. Unfortunately I’m not sure that delivering at home is an option for me because of insurance (even though it costs $4000-6000 compared to $20,000 in the hospital). I found out about UCLA Westwood that has a staff of midwives and I plan to tour that facility and speak to them. All of the doulas I have spoken to said that the most pleasant and happy births they have attended were at that hospital with the midwives. The nice thing is that you do get peace of mind where if a doctor is needed for intervention they are close by as opposed to having to travel to the hospital quickly if something goes wrong.

So my new plan is to work with a doula before, during and after the birth and have a midwife work with us during the birth. You might wonder why I want a doula. Neither Sean nor I have any family in LA and are both out of touch with how to care for a baby. I also want to work with someone on techniques like hypnotherapy and massage to be able to deliver naturally. A doula will help you prepare for the birth, be with you when the contractions start, take you to the hospital, stay with you through the whole birth and help you through it, help you start breastfeeding and then visit you at home to help with things like giving the first bath. I have researched that people who work with doulas have a higher success rate of natural births than those that don’t. I have also spoken to friends, both men and women, who have worked with a doula and said that they couldn’t have done it without them. Today Sean and I interviewed our first doula and really like her. It turns out that she worked with Shepard and Amanda Fairey on both their births which was good news to Sean because they are good friends of his. We have plans to interview two more doulas but I already like the first one so I might just commit to her. I think one of the most important things is to click with your doula because she will be with you for one of the most important times in your life.

As for BB, I posted a week ago that we felt the baby kicking or punching or headbutting us on the outside which was a total thrill. I didn’t think it would be so soon or where my stomach used to be…I thought it would be lower but I guess my stomach and intestines are squished towards the back now. When I feel it, it feels like a little “Pop!” Sometimes there are a bunch in a row or just one or two. BB is more active after I eat, they say that’s because the baby gets energy from the food and a good reminder that what you eat is affecting your kid.

About the same time that we could feel the baby kick on the outside, Funston started to become very clingy. I thought it was my imagination but Sean has also noticed that the little dude doesn’t want to leave my side. I was wondering if this was going to happen a couple of posts ago and I guess he can just sense something even more now. I haven’t noticed a change in Lucky Cat except she still insists on stepping on my belly every time she tries to go from one side of me to the other. Owch!

I had to break down and buy a couple pairs of maternity pants. I was actually quite upset about it but the Motherhood store had them for pretty cheap and I’m pretty desperate for a pair of jeans to wear now that it’s getting colder. I’ve had a hard time with bras because I already need some more, but they are expensive and I don’t want to have to keep buying them. The lady at Motherhood said to buy some without underwires but I’m not sure I’ll feel very supported. Sigh.

This week the baby is the size of an heirloom tomato. Last week it was a bell pepper. I never really put the two veggies side by side to really compare the difference but I’m pretty sure the kid is a bit bigger this week then last week.

Lastly I should mention that Sean and I plan on buying everything second hand. It seems that many baby items are used very few times and it seems more economical to not buy new. We plan on passing these items along to someone else (using Neighborgoods) when we are done. If you have any baby stuff for sale, we haven’t purchased a single thing yet.

Thanks for reading. Until next week!

Filed under: pregnancy, 19 weeks pregnant, pregnancy journal, pregnant, pregnant belly