Tara Tiger Brown

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just prowling around

Stop complaining then things start working?

Based on some negativity I was projecting (aka bitching) my Life Coach asked me or rather ordered me to read “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne.  She said that it had a good summary on encouraging good thoughts.  I was a bit skeptical to even purchase it because the cover reminded of the video game Myst and so I thought it was going to be some fantastical, cryptic read.  I happened to see it at Costco and picked it up because what’s $14 when you are spending a few hundred on other things you really don’t need.

I tweeted my friends asking if they had read it and I got a flurry of responses, most were highly opinionated from the usual suspects:

  • If you waste your time reading more than 5 pages of that we’re going to have an intervention. Avoid.
  • The only secret in “The Secret” is how such a crappy book made so much bank. Seriously, if you want it, make it happen. Done. 
  • everyone is screwed, that’s why the book is a hunk of crap.
  • You’re way past the “The Secret”. It’s basically a dumbed-down voodoo version of “Flow”.
  • The Secret is that you may accidentally be supporting an out-of-work comedian. 😉
  • clifnotes: If you sit around thinking you dont deserve anything you won’t get it. If you know you deserve it, you make it happen.

Based on my own principles, I opted to read the book and form my own opinion.   I’m about half way through and the gist of what I’m reading is that you need to be in a good state of mind because you project your feelings out into the universe and then they get reflected back at you – so if you are in a bad mood, bad energy will flow back and the opposite is true too (which is what we’re going for).  Additionally, you need to Ask, Believe, and Receive:  Ask the universe for what you want (but only once), believe deep in your soul that it will happen (no timelines here), and be open to receiving it when it does – as if you were expecting it to happen all along.  The book also discusses how you need to put yourself in the right frame of mind before asking for anything:  If you want a house then go look at houses, if you want a car go sit in the one you want.  Also, size or price of the item has no bearing on the ask…$1 is no different than a million dollars.

So far it is a really easy read and hasn’t said anything that I didn’t already think about in one way or another because I’ve been reading the book Flow and I have also taken an Art of Living course (not promoting here…just took it for the breathing exercises…maybe I’ll post something on that experience later) which is about being in the present and focusing on what you want.

Going back to the title of this post – if I were less negative about things that annoy me, would the annoyances stop occurring and everything just work?  My first inclination is to refute that hypothesis because there is no way that me alone can project my positive thoughts onto every new social networking website or gadget that I come across and want to use.  I think that my experience in working through issues could be vastly improved, but everyone involved would have to be practicing “The Secret” in order for it to truly work holistically across all experiences.

Ultimately, the answer to my question is “no” however I think there is a level in which I can discuss the things that I find difficult in a way that is positive towards the receivers that they are afforded the opportunity to work on a response and a solution in a positive way as well.

We’ll see how this works out – I will try the sandwich way of writing: start out with a positive, details and criticisms in between, then end on a positive note.

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2 Responses

  1. Fuzzz says:

    I’ve never read The Secret but there is something to be said for focusing on keeping cool and being positive. I know when I fall into negative mode things just get harder until things comes to a breaking point (aka my broken hand pictures on Flickr when I punched a door out of frustration and negative energy).

    Sometimes you just need to say “meh”.

  2. This is a good analysis and summary of some of the problems with the oversimplified advice given in “The Secret”.

    The general advice about optimism vs. pessimism is spot-on. If you keep a positive/optimistic attitude in general, you’ll make more things happen (for you and others), and you’ll be happier. If you keep a negative/cynical attitude in general, you’ll accomplish less, and you’ll be unhappy, except perhaps in the smug knowledge of feeling like your negative/cynical attitude about the universe was/is “right”.

    Where this breaks down is that there are genuine problems that need open and direct criticism, not (or perhaps not just) for getting out frustrations about such problems, but with an attitude towards helping the problems get solved, or perhaps the hope that openly documenting critiques will help others avoid the same mistakes.

    And the whole “negative energy” thing, if it’s a general sense of being upset at the world, I find the best cure for that is physical activity, yoga, climbing, running, whatever works best for you. FPS video games can help too.

    So don’t stop complaining, just do so with a positive attitude, write down the critiques (so you can get them of your head and not obsess about them – this is a GTD technique), as you have been on your wiki, and always begin and end the day reflecting on the positive things in your life (applying your aforementioned sandwich technique but to your day).

    Tantek

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