My Personal Blog

I have tried and tried to get the domain tarabrown.com and it’s just not happening. The owner seems to want to park it on that elephant killer domain registrar GoDaddy.com indefinitely.

Alas, I purchased taratigerbrown.com. My posts are there.

Be sure to read my posts about women in tech on Forbes. blogs.forbes.com/tarabrown/

 

Filed under: life, deepthoughts, Forbes, move, redirect, Tara Brown, website

Pregnancy: 26 weeks 11/22/09

I have spent this weekend in New York celebrating my 35th birthday. It marks a couple of milestones for me – it means I’m going to be an “old mom” as 35 is considered over the hill in the world of pregnancy. That is why I was put in the high risk category despite not having any unusual issues. This is also my last week in my second trimester which is supposed to be your best trimester and the time to get all your traveling in. I won’t be doing any traveling in my third. I have started to tire easily (I have anemia) and breathing is a bit harder (all my innards are scrunched together) so I think I need to just buckle down and rest. As much as I’m excited for Baby Bonner to get here, after witnessing a bunch of adorable but incredibly high energy 1 and 2 year olds running around and their parents barely keeping up, I realized that I really do need to cherish these last moments to myself and with Sean.

Filed under: life, pregnancy, 26 weeks pregnant, baby bump, pregnancy, pregnancy journal, pregnant

Pregnancy: 22-25 weeks 11/15/09

SIX MONTHS PLUS!!!!! It feels like just yesterday that I wasn’t pregnant at all! I haven’t blogged for about a month because I didn’t really have anything exciting to talk about. I still don’t really, but this is supposed to be like a journal because apparently pregnancy brain will cause me to lose all memories of this time. Souris said to me yesterday that I should start losing my mind any day now…I already have. I paid my doula with a check from an account I haven’t had for more than 6 months. Owch.

22 Weeks Pregnant

24 Weeks Pregnant

25 Weeks Pregnant

IN DA NEWS

• Sean and I came up with a name that we are pretty excited about and we call BB it all the time in private but won’t share with the world until he arrives. Why? Because you all are critical dicks. Kidding. Sorta.
• I started playing tag with BB. He punches or kicks then I press my fingers into that spot and he punches me again. OK, maybe not tag per say but I have managed to get him to do it 5 times in a row. I can actually feel him moving with my fingers now, not just little pops. It kinda creeped me and Sean out at first, but now it’s just so fun!
• I was horrified to learn that my innie belly button might become an outtie! Already I can see right into it like a worm hole. I have never had such a view of it. Much easier to clean now!
• I have been getting some pretty bad cramps in my calves and puffiness in my legs and hands. I am combatting it by drinking OJ, eating bananas, taking a drink with magnesium and calcium, drinking Smart Water with electrolytes and trying to stretch. 
• Let’s just say that I will never again take for granted bending over to put on socks and shoes. OMG. I have to pretend to be a Flamingo with my leg bent sideways to put them on unless I can get in a chair and even then I have to hike my leg up.
• Doc told me this week that I need to slow down my weight gain…that it was easy to just give up and let myself go.  I was not pleased with this comment…I mean I do walk my dog almost every day, I swim and do  yoga.  I probably could cut down on my Chai Latte consumption, but come on, my activity has definitely decreased with not being able to ride a bike to work anymore (I rode Sean’s globe the other day to work and it took an hour).  It kind of depressed me, so I guess I just need to try and eat better and less. Or maybe go on a diet like I heard some pregnant ladies do in LA. Kidding!

I found this funny pic that I made on the RoutanBabyMaker3000 site. I’ll have to remember to compare when the real deal arrives and see how accurate the rendering is.

LEARNING IS HARD!

I wanted to share some learnings with anyone that cares. Just a few little tidbits:

• Buy maternity pants and jeans that have an elastic band that goes all the way over your belly or ensure the band is soft. I bought some Motherhood Jeans and they cut into me and I hate them!!! Hate hate hate!
• My friend Leena who is having her baby girl right around when BB is due recommends Gap and Navy Online clothes for the budget conscience.  I also mentioned this site before
  http://pacingthepanicroom.blogspot.com
  because they show what American Apparel clothing can double as maternity wear.
• Bras – this has been a major pain for me because I have humungous boobs and I hate spending $70 on a bra every month when they seem to grow another size larger. I have found that bras with underwires are causing me issues so I purchased some without. They are OK, but don’t give me the support I need. I think those bra extenders are your friends to help relieve the issues with the underwire. My fave bras so far are Elle Macpherson and Warners
• Go and tour at least two hospitals that you can deliver in and do it at least 3 months before you are due.  Some require pre-registration.  It’s a lot less stressful to know where to park and which elevator to take, etc.  Also check with you insurance company to make sure they cover the hospital you want to deliver in and understand what is covered.  Some insurance doesn’t cover circumcision and if it’s not covered some hospitals won’t do it.

Filed under: life, pregnancy, 25 weeks pregnant, belly, bump, pregnancy, pregnancy journal, pregnant, tara, tarabrown

Baby Bonner: Online Feb 2010

I never thought that I would ever be writing these words, “I’m pregnant.” Yep, Sean Bonner and I are going to have a baby. I wrote a post awhile ago explaining that I have advanced ovarian endometriosis in addition to hypothyroidism and I was told by two different doctors that specialize in fertility that I had about a 1% chance of conceiving naturally. I guess I should have gone for that third opinion because they were both wrong (note to self, contact them and let them know the good news).

As per my post I did make some health changes.  I ate vegan for a little while, but found it too challenging, so I essentially am vegetarian but will indulge in seafood now and again.  I stopped eating dairy for the most part and started drinking rice and almond milk instead.  I upped my veggie and fruit consumption and of course don’t eat meat.  I don’t know if it made any difference or if it was Sean’s Superman Sperm, but we bucked the odds.  I still have endometriosis, but I am told that it might retreat during the course of my pregnancy.

Finding out I was pregnant was a MAJOR shock to both of us.  I had been feeling really crummy and attributed it to my endometriosis and made an appointment to see the doctor.  It was a couple of days before I went to see him that I took the pregnancy test and it was positive.  I started laughing because it was just too unbelievable to me.

Sean and I talked about kids in the sense that one day if we both wanted them we would look at adoption, but it was a very infrequent conversation. Neither one of us goes gaga for kids and I don’t have a ticking clock going off.  In fact, we had just started discussing a year long trip around the world. Getting pregnant was not something we planned or even thought we could plan.  All I wanted from trying to beat my endo was to not be in so much pain and to take back the choice to have kids so that if I decided to, I could.

Despite our apprehension with the situation, we went to the OB-GYN and sure enough, there was the little blob with the flicking heartbeat.  I’m put in the “high risk” category because I turn 35 in November but we just finished some screening tests and the doc said the baby looks healthy.  I decided to let people know after this doctor visit because let me tell you, keeping this secret at work when you are sick and tired is the hardest thing I have ever done.  I am so thankful to my boss whose wife is pregnant because I finally broke down and told him and he immediately started giving me info on doulas (I heart you Bob Moz!).

I am also very thankful to the people who have been supportive of me and it’s nice to know I have friends that are also pregnant or recently gave birth so I can inundate them with questions and be part of another club.  Of course I am the most thankful to my dude Sean who is very supportive despite being incredibly freaked out.  Didn’t we just get married?

So ya, I’m pregnant, and I’m super scared and nervous but I also have little moments of excitement.  I mean, who wouldn’t want Sean Bonner to be the father to their kid?  He’s badass, adventurous, loves cute things, has a bunch of rad toys, and is pretty dang smart.  I know everyone thinks that their baby is a miracle, but I honestly really think that.  The baby is due on Sean’s birthday in late February and in the Year of the Tiger which is the same as my Chinese Zodiac.  I think that just puts a cherry on top.

Filed under: life, pregnancy, holy shit

Twitter is Greater Than YOU

I recently tweeted “I have thought long and hard, and decided to stop following ppl that have no causes other than their own. I’m sorry.“ and once again, 140 characters doesn’t explain properly what my message is.  It’s pretty simple really.  We all know by now that Twitter is an amazing way to get your message across to many people in a short amount of time.  What I am hopeful for, and asking you to think about, is not just using it to satisfy your own ego.

I have checked most of the Twitter pages of the people I follow and was pretty sad to see that some are just tweeting to get followers and as many replies as possible and replying back to people that reply to them about whatever self-marketing they are spewing.  If all you care about is getting fav’rd then that’s concerning to me.  It is also very heart-breaking to me that many of these people are my personal friends and I know they aren’t heartless, so I hope this makes them think at least for a second about changing their tweeting ways. Take a minute to read your last 10 tweets and ask yourself what their purpose is and if a single one helps someone other than yourself.

It is effortless to take advantage of this amazing platform to help your fellow man, woman, child, animal, insect whatever.  It doesn’t have to be for something great like saving the world from deadly disease, it can be as simple as trying to help someone get a job, finding a lost pet its way home, letting others know about an issue in your neighborhood.

I am fully aware that we all use Twitter in different ways, I’m just saying that if you don’t use it on occasion to help someone or something other than yourself, then it makes me think you are using Twitter as a marketing tool and I really have no interest in continuing to allow you to indulge on my time.

Lastly, just because I unfollow, doesn’t mean that I don’t consider you my friend, just means that I have a different view point than you on how you are utilizing Twitter.  We can exchange phone numbers if we need to text each other.

Clear now?

Namaste.

Filed under: life, twitter

Manners #1: Be a good houseguest and host

I complain about a core group of things that irk me and I figured that I would write about them in attempt to let the bad vibes out and to hopefully give and learn some tips on manners.  To be clear, I’m not saying that I have good manners, and I’m not saying I don’t do things that annoy people, I’m just pointing out the things that piss me off.

The first on my list is overnight guests.  There are some key elements to being a good guest and there are definitely some key elements to being a guest that never gets invited back. On the flip side, I am also attempting to be a better host, so I am exploring what I can do better to have a pleasant experience with house guests as opposed to counting down the minutes until they depart.  Let me know if you agree, don’t agree, have additional suggestions.

Some things that make a good houseguest:
- Be very clear about arrival and departure times
- Ensure that the length of stay is appropriate for the familiarity you have with the hosts
- Do not expect the hosts to be travel guides or entertainment for your entire stay, take the initiative to plan activities.
- Offer to pay for at least one breakfast/lunch/dinner or make one of those meals.  It can be expensive to host someone, extra food, water electricity, etc.  Think about how much you would be paying for a hotel.
- Clean up after yourself and participate in keeping the house tidy, and don’t expect your hosts to be your cleaning service.  If you want that, get a hotel. Don’t leave garbage behind. Leave the area that you slept in tidy. Clean sheets or at the very least fold them.

Some things that make a good host:
- Have a house policy with a clear definition of a guest. This way there is no passive aggressive behavior when they don’t clean their own sheets or help load the dishwasher.
- Know your limits.  As Miss Manners states “never issue an invitation that you do not want to issue.” If you need a lot of space, then limit the amount of time a guest can stay.  For me, I have an extra room that is used as an office, and if a guest stays more than a weekend, I lose access to it and it starts to really bother me.
- Do not propose an open-ended visit.  Be clear about the length of stay and don’t let it go over.
- If a guest asks to stay longer and you don’t feel comfortable, you should talk to them about it and work with them on alternative accommodations.
- Be clear on how much time you can spend with your guests. Something I disagree on with Miss Manners is that a host needs to include a guest in all of their social activities.  I agree if their stay is for a weekend, but if it is an extended stay, I don’t think this should be necessary.  What is necessary is being very clear upfront if you are working and can’t vacation at the same time as your houseguests so they know if they are on their own.

Filed under: life, manners, host, houseguest, manners

My Mum’s response to Cat Workout on CNN…

My Mum sent me an email in response to the article I sent her:

Furry Pals Can Be Partners in Fitness

http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/06/05/fat.cats.owners.exercise/index.html

Well, I’ve told everyone I know about my infamous daughter Cat Flexing.
It is amazing what kind of responses I get.
Some stare at me as if catatonic.
Some give me a pitying/ catastrophic kind of look.
Others act like I … or YOU are clearly from CatMandoo – or otherwise
“out there”/
Some are even a bit catty about the whole thing.
The more optimistic and health focussed individuals think this type of
exercise program might cat…ch on .
Some have asked for a catalogue of cat flexing exercises.
Despondent types think this type of thing might be cathartic. (None of my
Catholic friends, though).
The global concerned types are worried the trend might result in a
cataclysm of cats.
I wouldn’t cater to that kind of thinking if I were you, though. But if
it happened, I am sure you would open a cattery.

I have to say, however, that the funniest cat flexer is Sean. He was a
little catawampus, if you ask me, and almost reminded me of a cateran.
Nearly put me into cataplexy.

Filed under: life, catworkout, cnn

Can serious classes be fun?

At this very second I’m attending my second CERT class in Silverlake. I decided to attend because I want to be able to take care of myself and the people and critters I love when disaster happens.

The class instructor is a fireman who has been on the force for 15+ years. He is a very nice guy and has a ton of patience and experience. The problem is that I am bored to tears.

I realize this class is free and important but dry material is covered, but there has to be a way to make it more interesting. It is even more difficult to concentrate because the class is after work and held in a stuffy church room.

I don’t have any good ideas on how to make it more interesting other than perhaps making it more hands on as opposed to reading from slides. The class Sean took – Urban Escape and Evasion was all hands on and you were forced to learn skills and then utilize them. For me personally, I prefer a demonstration and then try to practice the same skill. There must be classes where they can mimic fires, tsunamis, earthquakes, etc. and you have to try and stay alive. That would definitely keep me engaged.

Alas, that is not this class so I’m going to post this and then put my head back down on the table until Sean wakes me up so we can go home.

Namaste

Filed under: life, CERT, class

Help me Coachoose

I have been trying to coachoose wisely for Coachella 2009, but there are some open slots where I don’t know the band or just can’t make up my mind between all the great tuneage!! Check out what I have and share your advice! Also, if you think I have coachoosen poorly, bring it!

Pink square = definitely! want!
Green circle = maybe, waffling, I dunno
Pink square and Green circle = really want to see the one in the pink but conflicted because of the green
Blank = halp! no freaking idea

Filed under: music, advice, coachella, coachella2009, help, music

Knighting myself “West Coast Girl”

One week tomorrow I’ll be driving from San Francisco to Venice Beach in a truck with my stuff. This will mark the fourth city that I have lived in on the left coast – Vancouver, Seattle, San Francisco, and now Venice (LA). I don’t know how many others can claim that, certainly no one that I know. So, I have decided to give myself the title “West Coast Girl” and see if anyone else tries to claim it.

It’s really kind of crazy, I mean I just moved back to San Francisco in August after four years away in Seattle. I was so so happy to be back and absolutely adore the Mission where I live. That being said, there is a cheesy saying “home is where the heart is” and someone named Sean Bonner has claimed it over San Francisco.

After mulling it over and me spending more time in LA, we decided to make Venice our home – and by home I mean this is the first time that we will be living together officially. We got married Oct. 31st, 2008 and still haven’t moved in together. Sean is leaving his beloved eastside but as he has mentioned the air there is killing him and being closer to the airport will make things more convenient for him. Plus there is a badass new Intelligentsia opening up in Venice and he is super psyched about that.

I’m super excited to make my dream of living at the beach come true, still be able to ride my bike to work, and be closer to the airport. I have also made some new friends in LA who I am really excited to hang out with and make brunch for and I’ll never complain about more sunshine.

The good news is that I will be back up in SF once or twice a month to work out of the Topspin San Francisco office and my lovely Angela is letting me crash with her in the Mission. I feel so so fortunate to have my cake and eat it too.

I hope that my friends on the west coast and around the world come and visit me and Sean and Funston and LuckyCat. We have a lovely guestroom and spare bikes.

The adventure continues…

Namaste

Filed under: life, "helllooooo beach", "see ya", "west coast girl", Moving, venice