Breaking Free From the Collective

It’s been exactly 8 years and 20 days since I started at Microsoft, or the Borg as I affectionately like to call it.  Today, like Seven of Nine, my link to the collective will be severed.

There’s a 7 page list of things I need to do in order to break free from the hive including handing over my corporate Amex, computer equipment, Prime card, parking pass and my ”blue badge” with that innocent picture of me taken on my very first day. 

Although I will be giving up a ton of amazing benefits such as a free gym membership, the Connector, discounts galore, and of course the zero co-pay medical benefits, it is really not what I am most going to miss.  I’m going to miss things like my Canucks alias – I was the distribution list owner for it and it helped me keep feel close to my Canadian roots - I even became the liaison of sorts to the Seattle Canadian Consulate.  I’m going to miss the Microsoft Diversity Leadership team where I felt like I was actually making a difference in changing people’s minds about women and underrepresented minorities.  The Microsoft Equestrian group was a huge asset to me with all my horse related questions and extremely supportive when I had to make hard decisions about finding new homes for my rescue horses.  Women are still a minority at MS, so I am going to miss the girl power like my “Office Live Mashup Grrrls” – we built a small business application in a matter of days and presented to the Windows Live VP.  Free, no worries travel FTW - Microsoft sent me to India twice, Japan and around the US to conferences like SXSW which I actually think gave me a new tine in that fork in the road I was at and ultimately why I am writing this post today.

Not to be trite, but because it is 100% true, I am thankful for the friends that I made.  I’m not going to talk about missing them because it is way too easy to keep tabs on everyone through Brightkite, Facebook, Flickr, Twitter, blogs, etc.  I will however miss hanging out with them during the day and when a coffee run or a quick behind the door life-update is necessary.  I will definitely miss working with only smart people.  Maybe not always street smart, but definitely smart.  The interviewing process at Microsoft is effective.

I have been trying to think of things that I won’t miss, but honestly, they are all very trivial.  I do however, have a lot of hope for Microsoft’s future.  I hope that teams like the one I was on, Office Live, figure out how to be leaders in their space and not followers.  I hope that VPs such as Ray Ozzie , who I think is one of the few leaders that will breathe new life into MS, breaks free from his previous lives of Lotus Notes and Groove and takes some forward thinking risks.  I want Microsoft to be part of the community instead of dictating to them.  Most of all, I hope that one day people in the tech center don’t cringe when I tell them I used to work for Microsoft.

So today, I break free from the collective, but like Seven of Nine, I’m sure I hope that I will keep some of my cybernetic implants because there is really no better training in the world for building software and program management than Microsoft.

What’s next for me?  Definitely staying with the interwebs, but adding some entertainment to the mix.  My Voyager is Topspin.

Filed under: life, borg, collective, last day, Microsoft, quit, resigned, seven of nine, topspin

Dear Seattle

Dear Seattle,

I’m leaving you. There, I said it. It has taken me some time to get the courage up to tell you, but it’s not fair to you or me and it’s time I moved on. We’ve been together for a little over 4 years now and have gone through many ups and downs. It is time I got off this roller coaster.

When I was with Vancouver for all those years, I didn’t even give you a second look because you were too similar and Vancouver is well, Vancouver. Then I met San Francisco and although for the four years we were together we definitely had a good time, it seemed fleeting and family and settling down was important to me. You called me up quite unexpectedly that one day to console me and I am so grateful.

We started out as friends, and had many of the same interests. You made it really easy to see my family and they seemed to like you pretty well. You and I had a lot of affection for each other but never quite fell in love. It may be because we faced a lot of emotional tragedy in the short time we were together and I don’t think I can recover from that. Every time I look at you I am reminded of losing so many loved ones and I need my heart to heal.

I was going to go for a fresh start with someone new, but San Francisco called me and wants me back. Apparently things will be different now and I need to reconsider the reasons I left in the first place. Also, because I want to be totally honest,  I am crushing on Los Angeles a bit and it seems reciprocal so I’m going to see where that goes. For now, though, I am going to see if I can work things out with SF because quite frankly, my heart never left.

So, Seattle, my last day with you is July 17^th. My bags are almost all packed and I’m saying goodbye to friends tonight. I sincerely hope that you and I stay in touch and can remain friends because I would like to hang out from time to time. I hope you stay beautiful inside and out and don’t let anyone tell you that you shed too many tears, that’s what makes you so vibrant.

Take care.

Much love,

Tara

Filed under: life, Uncategorized, Adios, Breakup, Dear John Letter, Goodbye, Leaving, life, Moving, San Francisco, seattle

Emotional Triggers

I was out with a friend the other night and he asked me if there was anything that would trigger me to become overly emotional, no matter what I was doing or the mood I was in.  His trigger was fairly obscure, and surprising and actually made me giggle.  I thought about mine for a second and answered that it was when animals were being treated poorly.  At the time that seemed liked the right answer.  I’m a big animal lover and I get pretty emotional watching Animal Cops and the like.

Today, at the end of an extremely emotionally taxing day, I realized that I have another trigger.  I was watching Almost Famous and that scene where everyone on the bus starts singing Elton John’s Tiny Dancer came on.  It was at an extremely emotional highpoint in the movie that has always resonated with me.  Every time I see that scene, no matter how many times, I cry.

There are many other movies that invoke this response in me – it is always a combination of a scene and the music.  Some are silly and I can’t bare to share, but my connection with them all runs deep.

Although these combinations make me cry and emotionally uncomfortable, at the same time it is incredible and almost magical knowing that two writers – script and song – were able to connect with me on such a deep level.

Filed under: life, emotions, movie, music, trigger